There’s only one Tottenham Hotspurs, there’s…

Spitalfield Market’s sports centre in East London recently played host to a heroic football tournament that saw the design industry bare its knees and lock horns in battle.

On what can only be described as a creative pitch, the ten teams kicked lumps out of each other in bouts of five-a-side thrills.

The teams were from Addison, Adtech, Evans Hunt Scott, Landor, Michael Peters 1 and 2 (neither of which fielded Mr Peters himself), Pauffley, Real Time Studio, Tequila, and Union Design.

Described by (both) shocked spectators as “a night of heavy tackling and deft ball control”, the final was between Union and Real Time. And the result? 2-1 to Union.

But any unity in the Union team dissolved as the stalwarts, Robin Richmond and Tim Fendley, tried to claim all the credit.

Goalie and captain “Stopper” Richmond says: “I’m convinced the tournament ultimately turned on a string of stunning reflex saves that I made at key moments in a number of games.”

“Dynamo” Fendley counters: “The lad Richmond done great but games are won or lost at the feet of strikers.” He scored, you see.

Asked for a team photo (which would have uncovered the ringers in their team), Union sent the image seen above. It looks less like Fendley, Richmond et al than Spurs parading the European Cup Winners’ Cup circa 1961. Foul!