Find the perfect silent partner

Saatchi & Saatchi must be keen to fill the shoes left by departed chairman Maurice Saatchi, advertising being such a personality-dominated business. A new figurehead is needed.

Just in time, then, British Historical Reproductions writes to tell us it can supply reproduction figureheads based on those of historic fighting ships.

The limited editions are full-sized, averaging 6ft in height, with “every facet of fine detail reproduced using modern-day materials”, says BHR.

So you can just sit one down in the boardroom and only the canniest of clients will notice the lack of speech or legs.

Perhaps BHR has already been involved in the Saatchi shenanigans. It also offers a full-sized reproduction of a cannon captured at Sevastopol in 1855 during the Crimean War.

Presumably the cannon can be used to blow your chosen figurehead out of the (window) frame.