Harpers serves it up all wrong

Gazing hazily, as one does, at Harpers Wine and Spirit Gazette, our eyes breeze across a feature by restaurateur Oliver Peyton, of Atlantic Bar and Grill fame.

Oliver goes on about wine, which, given the publication in question, is just about forgivable. And, of course, he is something of an expert. Indeed, if restaurateurs are the new pin-ups of today’s chattering classes, Oliver must be numbered among the heroes of our time.

But hold on a minute. The photograph accompanying the piece doesn’t look like Oliver. That bloke’s too, er, distinguished for a start. And he’s touching his temple in a manner which suggests he’s not a restaurateur at all. He looks more like a designer.

Hey, it’s none other than Colin Porter, chairman of Coley Porter Bell and design’s very own bon viveur.

So Colin, what’s the score? “I’d like to be Oliver Peyton. Actually, I think I have been rumbled – I am Oliver Peyton, it’s just nobody has realised it yet,” he says.

It sounds neither convincing nor plausible, but it would explain Colin’s very long lunches.