From Design Bridge’s wanker…

Choice item recovered from hacking into Design Bridge’s e-mail system

Subject: OUCH….

From: Simon Dives, Accounts 14.8.96 11.1To: All DB Depts

Due to my ailments (which makes writing extremely difficult), I have been loading myself with Ibuprofen the last couple of days (it helps with the swelling!). But in my dozed state this morning I left them at home, so if anyone has Ibuprofen, Nurofen or anything else for that matter, please can I nick a couple. Cheers, Super Si Swollen Hand Guy xxxx

Even choicer reply intercepted a few minutes later:

Subject: OUCH…

From: David Helps

14.8.96 11.2To: Simon Dives (Super Si Swollen Hand Guy xxxx)

Are you sure this is not due to excessive indulgence in the five-knuckle shuffle? You know… spanking the monkey… beating the bishop… polishing yer bell-end… a few hand shandies… whacking yer pud… thrashin the porcupine