Tooned up and ready for attack

Horseman Cooke’s chief jester Mike Horseman is, as those in the know will testify, a bit mad. – Mad, that is, about Newcastle United Football Club.

Horseman Cooke’s chief jester Mike Horseman is, as those in the know will testify, a bit mad.

Mad, that is, about Newcastle United Football Club. A foot soldier in the Toon Army, Mike was horrified by the departure of that hero of St James’ Park, the Black Flash himself, Andy Cole.

Never one to hide in the trenches, Mike was immediately on the blower to Newcastle to offer manager Kevin Keegan his services as a stop-gap striker.

As can be seen from our exclusive picture of Mike in the famous strip, wor Horseman has already perfected his post-goal gyration-packed pose.

Keegan has yet to call on the Horseman’s services, which is a shame since a Horseman/Beardsley double act would surely frighten the nation’s defences purely through its bad looks. (Sorry, Mike. Only kidding.)

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