Enough said – Sadler’s Wells is really boring

The word watering hole has double entendres for nouveau riche git theatre Sadler’s Wells.

The famous London site has just received 30m worth of Lottery smackeroonies for a massive renovation by Renton Howard Wood Levine and Nicholas Hare Associates (DW 20 October).

And it plans to spend part of this moolah on re-erecting the original 1683 Sadler’s Well, yes that’s how it came by its name.

“We’re going to sink a bore hole 110m deep into a chalk aquifer, that’s a water zone in the chalk level,” explains project engineer Andy Jarvis.

Rumour has it that bottles of real Sadler’s Wells water will be sold, like Holy Land Air. Jarvis says: “The bottling would be done off site, but at this stage I’m not sure if it would be drinkable”.

If not, Sadler’s Wells patrons could always take the example of the Japanese nerve gas attackers, the Aum Shinrikyo sect, who apparently anointed themselves with their leader’s used bathwater.