Forget stimulants – Bricky will help you get it up

A tool that claims to increase the productivity of bricklayers by up to 300 per cent has been invented by ex-Army carpenter Noel Marshall.

Now we know what you’re thinking – can anything increase the productivity of bricklayers, except, perhaps, PG Tips on a drip feed or a gram of speed slipped in with the cheese and pickle sandwiches?

But apparently Bricky, the winner of Invention of the Year at a recent show in Geneva, makes four years of hard bricklayers’ training worthless and creates professionals out of the most amateurish DIY-ers. How it goes about creating the perfect buttock cleavage for users is unclear.