and politicians should be on their heavy mettle

And while we’re on the subject, perhaps some other institutions in need of an image boost could take a leaf out of the Queen’s brand book and enlist a heavy metal veteran to enhance their appeal.

How about Iain Duncan Smith’s Conservative Party wigging out with Mötley Crüe, or the soon-to-be-axed Consignia brand having one last hurrah with Slayer? Of course, Anthrax has already played with George W Bush. But Enron and Andersen executives may still thrill to an Iron Maiden gig.

Any other suggestions should be sent on a studded codpiece to the usual address. The wittiest response (ahem) could win a vomit-soaked Megadeth T-shirt or Metallica’s entire back catalogue.