A Ruud explanation

An apology is owed for the accusations made in the Diary a couple of weeks ago. It was suggested that Fishburn Hedges’ Michael Slater slunk off early from his consultancy’s party to watch the Liverpool v West Bromwich Albion football match on TV. “Both myself and Chris North are Chelsea season ticket holders and would rather French kiss the rotating blades of a lawnmower than leave a party to watch someone other than Ruud Gullit’s aristocrats,” says Slater.

What can we say, except how very sorry we are, and we hope we have alleviated any damage to your reputations.