Saffron works on King’s College London rebrand
Saffron is developing new branding for King’s College London, in a project worth around £300,000.
Saffron is looking to take forward work from a research and ideas stage, subject to approval from the university’s College Council.
The consultancy was appointed in 2012 and led a research exercise conducted with external audiences took place between August-October 2013.
The next stage of the project will include plans to engage stakeholders in further research, leading to the definition of a set of brand values in a bid to build consensus for the brand.
Saffron will base its creative on this work, which will include a new identity and communications, according to a King’s College London spokeswoman.
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How about paying back the £300000 after that shallow, illiterate (no noun: King’s …what?!), and utterly crass performance?
A brand is an alphanumeric symbol or other logo typically placed on a cow’s backside with a red-hot branding iron. The iron first is placed in a fire, so that, once sufficiently heated, it will sear the logo permanently into the ass, helping to designate ownership over said ass. Brands have also been applied to the bodies of human slaves.
Why did we undertake a brand review?
Because our Strand Poly cattle (SP) were constantly intermingling—dangerously MIXING—with Gower Street Poly (GSP) cattle. GSP brands, if improperly applied, can resemble SP brands. Extensive (expensive) research has revealed that godless left-handed GSP cow-pokes apply too much pressure to the right side, thus obscuring or altogether eliminating the G. Then, devilish bovine chaos ensues.
What is proposed?
Going forward, our name change to Strand Agricultural and Mechanical (officially Strand A&M, colloquially SAM or Sammies) will insure a distinctiveness and meaty allure similar to Oxon oxen.
When can I see the new brand identity?
Sturdy new branding irons will be distributed shortly.
Where can I get guidance on how to implement the brand?
Beef and milk industry marketing consultants will be on-hand to assist. As their own studies indicate, the natural herding instinct among domesticated ungulates is enhanced by clear unambiguous butt marks. Onerous cart-pulling and fertilizing manure-output will be increased—hoof-dragging around slaughter decreased—by firm even-handed application of branding irons heated to precisely 260 degrees Celsius. Short-term pain, long-term gain.