Rotten stench as stale Space Hopper bounces back

Seeking to plug a hole in the market, the sympathetically named Meatandcheese Corporation has launched the Guffhopper, billed as the world’s first farting, cow-shaped hopper ball.

Indeed. The bastardised Space Hopper is an ‘irresistible ice breaker’, according to its makers. ‘Feel the wind between your legs! Ride like a crazy cow! Hear mega blow-offs as you land a big air!’ they implore. ‘Every hop is different; every fart is unique.’

The versatile Guffhopper, on sale for £25, comes complete with a detachable fart unit, for riding with or without fart sounds, and a pump for quick inflation.