Holmes comes up short for Marks & Spencer

Beleaguered retailer Marks & Spencer produced yet another disappointing set of sales figures last week.

Home products’ turnover tumbled, like a Double Gloucester down Cooper’s Hill, by 13.7 per cent in the 11 weeks to 27 March. Clothing sales, down 2.5 per cent, and traditionally buoyant food sales, down 1.4 per cent, were equally uninspiring.

‘Sales this quarter were clearly not good enough,’ mused Marks & Spencer chief executive Roger Holmes. Way to rally the institutional shareholders, Rog.

By the way, Gloucestershire’s venerated cheese rolling event takes place on 31 May this year.