LFH makes a hash of its trip

Looking at the logo (pictured), you’d think Lloyd Ferguson Hawkins was anticipating trouble with the law on a recent consultancy outing to Amsterdam.

However, the only thing lifted on the trip was the spirits of the 16 LFH employees present. Of course, their minds did reach a higher state of consciousness, thanks to the traditional Dutch stimulants sampled.

Europe’s “dope and tulips capital”, as an LFH spokeswoman puts it, has probably seen worse behaviour from visitors. But LFH did notch up some highlights. Such as being threatened with a baseball bat by the manager of a red light district “shop” who was eager to close up.

Disposable cameras were taken over to record the group beano for posterity. But none survived. As creative director Mark Lloyd puts it: “They were disposed of.” Although no one can remember exactly how or when.

At least all the party returned. Including Lloyd, just. He left his passport in the hotel and after returning to get it only just made the flight. “I’m one of the more seasoned travellers but ended up looking like a complete dickhead,” he admits.

The LFH posse was staying at a hotel which happened to be next door to the city’s zoo. Every morning heralded a chorus of bizarre groans and grunts. Good job the animals weren’t so noisy.