Treasure chest of laughs found on The Oriana

Jonathan Sands, managing director of Elmwood Design, provided a wave of laughter at a recent contact-making bash aboard The Oriana.

So what is the raconteur’s pièce de résistence? Picture a dying man in hospital under heavy sedation, fingering both breasts of a Hattie Jacques-lookalike matron. He is under the impression that one is the head of Telly Savalas and the other the head of Yul Brynner. The matron then expresses a wish that the gentleman might want to become acquainted in a similar way with Rolf Harris. Boom Boom.

“We had an exceptional couple of days,” comments Sands. Quite so. Apparently the jokes went down very well with Light & Coley’s Sian Ffoulkes-Jones and Coley Porter Bell’s Colin Porter.

Another joke involved “two old boys in a club” and a “bugger of a tiger”, but we won’t go into that.