Army struggles with PR tactics

The British Army is looking for a new way of presenting itself, perhaps to combat the well-known elegy “Join the army, meet people – and kill them”.

Its new public relations campaign is based around a calling card which acts as a prompt when speaking to the media.

“We want our members to give a good corporate impression,” says a Ministry of Defence spokesman, who confirms that the card was designed by the Defence Information Publications Department after a pitch.

So does our army whip the card out and recite the ABC mnemonic in moments of need?

“Of course not, it’s just to get them thinking along the ABC lines,” says the spokesman. Yessir.