Krystina deals with a variety of dicks in Malaysia

Staff at Design Bridge in London eagerly await the return every few months of Krystina Lyon for a chance to see her snaps. Krystina, you see, goes off on these business trips to south east Asia for Design Bridge but always returns with a tale to tell.

Take the time when Krystina and Phil Lawder, another Design Bridge chief, decided to take a tourist bus ride to Melaka in Malaysia.

Krystina takes up the story: “We passed a shop which was run by a man who used to do foot-binding. I was enthralled and took a picture, but when I turned around everyone else in our party had disappeared.

“I looked for them but couldn’t find them. I didn’t have any money – Phil had it. It was all a bit ominous and then I went to the car park but our bus had gone.”

It seems Phil had got on the bus and not bothered to stop it leaving. Nice one, Phil.

Krystina continues: “It was then I went into a bit of a frenzy. Normally, I’m a totally in-control person. But I burst into tears. Then this lady from another tour bus said she would give me a lift to Kuala Lumpur.

“I got on and found we were the only two women on a bus full of Chinese businessmen. The bus set off and they started to show a film with dodgy things happening.”

It seems the opening sex scenes were not a prelude to a full-on feast of pornography. Just a romantic start of a Hong Kong karate flick. The event is now fabled as “The Melaka Incident”.