No doubt fretting about their status in the cage, branding copywriters are wont to describe themselves as ‘naming monkeys’. Along the lines of see-no-evil, hear-no-evil, speak lots of trademark-registrable brand names.
Amusingly, there’s a consultancy in Sausalito, California, with the depth of self-knowledge to call itself A Hundred Monkeys. Better still, it rates and ranks the best and worst of naming through the Shinola Awards, with a judging panel including Ben Cohen of Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream fame, Ren & Stimpey creator Bob Camp and an under-employed member of Talking Heads.
In the Ad Creatures category, Mr Clean wipes the floor with Joe Camel; Etch-a-Sketch throws Electro Shot out of the Toys department; Oreo is considered a finer Morpheme Addiction than Achieva; Velveeta pukes on Droxies in Junk Food; Range Rover leaves Bravada among the other SUVs; while Vogue struts past Modernity Maturity on the Magazines stand. Only in America.