Shinola Awards makes monkey of brand names

No doubt fretting about their status in the cage, branding copywriters are wont to describe themselves as ‘naming monkeys’. Along the lines of see-no-evil, hear-no-evil, speak lots of trademark-registrable brand names.

Amusingly, there’s a consultancy in Sausalito, California, with the depth of self-knowledge to call itself A Hundred Monkeys. Better still, it rates and ranks the best and worst of naming through the Shinola Awards, with a judging panel including Ben Cohen of Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream fame, Ren & Stimpey creator Bob Camp and an under-employed member of Talking Heads.

In the Ad Creatures category, Mr Clean wipes the floor with Joe Camel; Etch-a-Sketch throws Electro Shot out of the Toys department; Oreo is considered a finer Morpheme Addiction than Achieva; Velveeta pukes on Droxies in Junk Food; Range Rover leaves Bravada among the other SUVs; while Vogue struts past Modernity Maturity on the Magazines stand. Only in America.